How we make friends around the world
Making friends can be hard enough on its own, and doubly so when off in new and distant lands. Navigating cultures and communities can be daunting, but it can be rewarding to socialize with a populace and experience a country with a group of friends. If you’re planning on traveling anytime soon and are anxious about finding company for your adventures, don’t worry! We have some advice and testimony from UC Berkeley Life students, who have recently returned from their UC Education Abroad Programs (UCEAP), on how they socialized during their travels!
Nina (left) and Rachel (right) spending time with friends and family.
Ask me anything
I asked my peers here at the Berkeley Life blog if they had any advice for students curious about forging bonds during study abroad. Nina, Rachel, and I have all made great memories with great people during our time abroad, and we want to make sure you do, too!
Nina is majoring in film & media and minoring in Japanese, and traveled to Tokyo for the Waseda University’s School of International Liberal Studies (SILS) year-long program, while Rachel and I both traveled to London. I was only there for a summer with the London and the Literary Imagination UCEAP abroad program, given my English major. Rachel, on the other hand, who is majoring in media studies and minoring in theater and performance, spent a year at Queen Mary University of London.
Rachel and friends at the Louvre.
During your time abroad, how often did you interact with other members of the program outside of program hours? How did you communicate with them, and what sort of activities did you engage in? Did you mainly interact in a larger group setting, or would you interact with fewer people at a time?
Rachel: “I made friends with a group of girls during our UCEAP London Welcome Day. The 6 of us (we called ourselves the Cali Gals) became pretty close and started doing a regular weekly dinner that we took turns hosting at our flats. We celebrated holidays together including Halloween and Thanksgiving events that we put together. Another girl I met through the program, Laila, has become a good friend of mine and I was able to reconnect with her this semester since she’s living in San Francisco. A close friend of mine (Allen) and my twin sister (Brianna) were also doing a year abroad in London so the 3 of us spent a lot of time together exploring London, going on trips to other countries, and hanging out around campus. So I spent a decent amount of time with members of my program outside of program hours.”
Nina: “I typically did at least one activity a week with other UCEAP members, and this was in addition to studying together at a local cafe or the campus library on weekday afternoons/evenings. My fellow UCEAP members were my closest friends, aside from my older brother who happens to live in Tokyo, so I spent quite a bit of time with them outside of school hours and during them doing things like getting lunch together between classes. My three UCEAP friends and I had an Instagram group chat that we made pretty early on—maybe when we were checking to see if we had interest in going to the first UCEAP Tokyo Study Center office-hosted event of the program. We did a lot together: going out for dinner, studying, exploring the city in the late evening, grocery shopping, cooking. I attended Waseda’s annual bunka-sai, or cultural festival, with my friends from UCEAP. I also traveled with them to Taiwan as one of many international trips I fit in during my two-month spring recess. Lastly, in July, we attended the Abiko Hanabi Taikai (Abiko Fireworks festival) together, and with my father who happened to be visiting Tokyo.
I prefer to interact with people in a smaller setting. It was normally me and my three UCEAP friends, though there were times we’d also hang out with my older brother and his friends, or I’d invite a family friend from Japan who was interested in English and it’d end up being sort of a Japanese-English language exchange.”
Vincent: “I spent a ton of time out with the others in my group! We all went out together at least every weekend, and often during the week. Normally, if one person in the program wanted to go out to the park or museum, it was an open invitation to the rest. We went to plenty of local scene stuff, as well, like a few local music venues. Early on, we made an iMessage group chat, but at times, some folks had issues receiving messages.”
Did you travel outside of your program area at all, and if so, did you travel with anyone else?
Rachel: “During my time abroad I traveled to 10 countries and 22 cities. I also explored London beyond my campus quite a bit. A few of the trips were with my friend from Berkeley/UCEAP, one of them was with my sister’s flatmate who was also a study abroad student but from a different program, and another was with a friend from Queen Mary we met through clubs we joined. But all of the rest were just me and my sister.”
Nina: “Yes, I traveled to many places! I arrived in Tokyo before my program started so that I could fly to Shanghai, China to visit a friend from back home studying away at New York University Shanghai, and so that my family and I could take a trip down south to Kyoto and Osaka. I wanted to take advantage of my almost comically long spring recess, since Japanese universities can operate on a very different schedule, so I had roughly two months of whirlwind traveling. In February, I went to Hokkaido, the northernmost prefecture of Japan, with my mother to attend the annual Sapporo Snow Festival, which features ice and snow sculptures from skilled artisans across the world and locals. It was kind of surreal to see the snow sculpture made by folks from Portland, Oregon, which is where I grew up. My mother and I then flew to Cambodia for a complete switch-up in weather. We did a lot of day trips exploring architectural ruins like Angkor Wat. In March I flew to Dublin, Ireland to stay with my UC Berkeley roommate studying abroad at Trinity College through UCEAP; I stopped in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates on the way, and then flew to Scotland with her. In April, my three UCEAP close friends and I spent five days in Taipei, Taiwan, gorging ourselves at local markets, walking 15,000 steps before the sunset, and visiting locations my Taiwanese friend had grown up going to. I also frequently went to Tokyo’s neighboring prefecture, Chiba, where my paternal grandparents live and spent the weekend there, often with my older brother.”
Vincent: “I actually spent the entire program within the London city limits! It’s a big enough city and I wanted to try to get as much out of it as possible—though plenty of other people in the program traveled together for weekend or day trips to places as far as Milan, Italy and as close as Bath, England.”
Did you make friends or interact with any local people/students while abroad?
Rachel: “YES! I made friends with so many wonderful locals while abroad. My program was immersive so I was living with and interacting with students from all over the world frequently. I joined the Queen Mary Theatre Company and Queen Mary Dance Company and made some of my best friends there, most of whom were locals. We got really close super fast and they made campus feel like home. My birthday was during the winter so the UCEAP friends I had made had finished their semester and had gone home, but I was still there for a year and away from my family. Because of the friends I met through QM Theatre & Dance, I got to spend my birthday surrounded by friends and having fun which made me feel so incredibly special. It was extremely difficult to say goodbye to all of them when I left.”
Nina: “I made friends with a few locals abroad, but fewer than I would have liked to, and I attribute that to 1) my program being the kind that requires some of your classes (e.g. Japanese language courses) to only be taken with other international students, and 2) my not joining of any student clubs or organizations. The Japanese nationals I did make friends with typically had English experience from studying abroad in the West during childhood or adolescence, as I was in the School of International Liberal Studies, from which Japanese students usually graduate with a seal of biliteracy. This is a bit of a unique experience, but the locals I interacted with abroad were mostly family who I wasn’t very close with growing up and friends from when I attended preschool in Japan for three months as a 6-year-old. It was really wonderful to have the opportunity to be around my father’s side of the family and get to know them, especially as an adult now. I saw cousins, second cousins, and my grandparents several times throughout my experience.”
Vincent: “I did! When going out to more local events, like underground shows and such, it’s pretty easy to just start talking to new people. A funny thing happened, too. A few years back, I was in Oxford for a different program. While there, I had made friends with an Oxford student. Flash forward to this past program, I was walking down the street from my residence and I randomly ran straight into them! We talked for a bit and planned to meet up again later. We ended up spending a night out the day before my flight back home. It was really great to catch up with them again, and I promised I would let them know I was around next time I came back.”
Do you still keep in contact with friends you met abroad?
Rachel: “Yes! I’m still connected with all of them on social media so we can keep up with each other’s lives and I still talk to a lot of them somewhat frequently. The American friends I made through UCEAP I’ve already had the opportunity to meet up with a couple of them since being back, and with my British friends, I am currently trying to plan a trip to go back and visit them.”
Nina: “I do still keep in touch with my UCEAP friends and the few Japanese local friends I made. My UCEAP friends and I hung out on campus during the first few weeks of Cal fall semester (since their unis start later), and I plan to see my Japanese local friends when I return to Tokyo for winter break.”
Vincent: “I do, we follow each other on social media and talk a bit every now and then. Of course, I keep in pretty regular contact with the other UC Berkeley people I met through the program, I even share a few classes with them.”
What kind of advice would you give to anyone looking to interact with and immerse themselves in a new culture?
Rachel: “Joining student organizations/clubs is the easiest way to make friends with locals which will just naturally immerse you into their culture. Also, making a point to explore some place new as often as you can, even if it’s something as simple as studying at a library in the city instead of your flat or trying new restaurants can help you explore new areas and fully immerse yourself.”
Nina: “You have to put yourself out there. Even when it’s scary, even if you’re not fully confident in your language ability, you have to place one foot in front of the other and get out there. Attend the event, even if you’re not sure anyone you know will be there—especially if that event has locals. Practice ordering in your host country’s language every chance you get. (In a globalized city like Tokyo, many service workers are used to working with customers’ broken Japanese, and typically very encouraging of you learning their language!) Don’t be afraid to try local or cultural activities; they’re accessible for a reason. I think that as long as you’re actively conscientious of how you’re engaging with the culture, you’ll be fine.”
Vincent: “Be open to new experiences! If someone invites you to something you haven’t done before or don’t know if you’ll like, maybe try it out, do a day trip with someone somewhere close, or even just wander into neat-looking places. But also, take initiative; your time will be what you make of it, so be the one to invite people, or talk to someone in a public place, interact with the populace, even just to say “good morning!” Always remember to be polite and respectful of something you may not be familiar with, too. ‘When in Rome…’, and all that.”
Make it so!
Hopefully, all of this gives you an idea of how to navigate the social sphere of your program! Making friends can be easy when you’re all exploring new places together. You just have to be willing to put yourself out there, say hello, and maybe invite someone for a day out! Just remember, if you go out looking for friends, you’ll find them in short supply, but go out looking to be a friend, and you’ll find them everywhere you step.
Vincent Vidana, Class of 2026, is majoring in English and minoring in Rhetoric. Cover photo by Nina Takahashi.
Want More?
- Learn more about Vincent’s time in London.
- Practice good financial habits abroad.
- Make the most of your study abroad with Rachel’s tips!